quiestnina

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BUDAPEST ON POLAROID

Photography is like capturing the moment through your perspective out of your own created bubble of reality that you live in. A snippet out of your own world. A snippet of yourself.

DRESS: ASOS, BAG: ZARA, SHOES: H&M (VERY OLD)

It shows colours, feelings, situations and emotions. To me, a spontaneously taken picture is one of the most personal things existing. It just captures the beauty of the moment, without filters, light correction or professional set design around. It simply is a visual document of a beautiful moment. 

It shows someone’s perspective of a situation in a very personal way. It feels like looking through someone else’s eye, escaping into another body.

DRESS: SISTER JANE (OLD), BAG: ZARA, SHOES: H&M (OLD)

And if you ask me, that is one of the most intimate things to show someone.

Letting someone into your own created world, full of imagination, a piece of yourself, your personal created truth of things- that’s intimacy.

That’s why I love polaroid photography. It is unperfect, like life itself. We are getting such an overdose of perfectly curated photos on our Instagram feeds on a daily base, that we tend to forget the beauty of something real. 

The other week, I went on a solo trip to Budapest, to join a friend at Sziget festival. It was a spontaneous decision, but that’s what life is made of in the very end. 

The moments where the ones where you just did not care, the ones where you just lived. 

Budapest is a very stunning and beautiful city, full of stories and life. It was very hot when I went there (apparently one of the hottest days of the year), and when I went into a small bookshop the owner told me that on the warm days, they make the best sales as people can’t do any other sorts of meaningful activities. 

Whilst roaming through Budapest’s old alleyways, filled with heat and the smoke of cigarettes, I took a few snippets with my polaroid camera.

And when I went to the Sziget festival, I lived in the moment, enjoyed the atmosphere, and it was one of the best days of my life.

When Florence and the Machine were performing on the stage and she asked everyone to put their phones away. Everyone did. Everyone lived in the moment and loved life to the fullest.

However, in every situation, I tried to capture the moment, the feeling and the atmosphere in an unperfect way. 

Simply, how it was. Messy, chaotic, lovely and utterly beautiful.

I know, I am a fucking juvenile, seeking its place in this big mess called life, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.

So, lean back, have some tea and enjoy the beauty of my Budapest adventure on polaroid. 

Nina X.

Books that I have been loving.

Ever since I have acquired the skill to read, reading has been a sort of an escaping tool for me. Escaping from the reality, dreaming myself into another world. Into a better place, a place that felt like a home to me.

During the last couple months, I had lost this part of me without even noticing it. I know it is crazy, you can crave so much for it, but as long as you ignore those signals, you won’t ever come to the idea of changing something. Instead of finding out what is missing in your life, you will continue running away and keep trying to fill up the emptiness inside you.

I have been doing this for ages, until that one Sunday afternoon, when I stumbled into the WHSmith on Manchester Piccadilly and bought Dolly Alderton’s novel, called “Everything I know about love”. Once I started to read, I couldn’t put it down. I did not feel very well about a lot of things in my life by that point, whether that was my future, my bad habits or even love itself. After reding this novel, I felt a lot better as I realized that whatever feeling might come out of my body now, whether it is good or bad, I am not alone in this whole mess of adulting. This book is like a warm, cosy blanket that gives you the feeling that even if you feel unsettled and insecure in your twenties- it is all gonna be alright. 

Dolly obviously talks about love and her experiences, and to be honest who isn’t curious about understanding love? This mysterious thing that crosses your daily life in the most various variations. Whether it is sexual love, paternal love, platonic love or material love, all of us have a hunger for it and chase it like crazy.

I have read more novels ever since, but I decided just to talk about a selection of them in this post.

During the past couple months, I have been rediscovering my unconditional love about the 1970’s and music.

The second book that I absolutely adored, was “Daisy Jones and the Six” by Taylor Jenkins Reid. Amazing book about a fictional 1970 band in the Fleetwood Mac era. A brilliant novel about the 70’s freedom, love, friendship, drugs and the mysterious world of rock’n’roll. This book feels like a breeze of freedom, mixed with the smell of fags, passion and good music. 

As a person, who obviously loves to read real life stories as much as reading fictional ones, I also really loved “Girl in a band” by Kim Gordon, who used to be in the very well-known 1980s band “Sonic Youth”. I personally really like the sound of them, and it is very cool to get to know the whole story out of her point view. It is a cool insight about how glamourous and unglamorous this whole rock’n’roll and fame thing can be at the same time. To be fair, these two books sometimes make me crave a life in the 1970/80s as everything seemed to be so free there and not full of mainstream culture as today.

The last book I wanna talk about is “On the road” by Jack Kerouac. A true classic, about feeling restless, unsettled and living life to its fullest. Living a life that is fulfilled with crazy and mad adventures. I mean who does not crave that nowadays when most of our daily lives is happening in tiny screens? We crave the breeze of freedom, the minds and stories of mad people and adventures we will remember for a lifetime.

Outfit: All Vintage, except the boots: Topshop (old)

“[…]the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!” 

– Jack Kerouac.

xx,

Nina

UNSETTLED.

In times of constantly wandering around, never settling down, always pressing the “live faster, live more intensely” button, the feeling of being “home” becomes very rare.

A feeling that seemed to be familiar, but transformed into an alien and unknown thing. Always seeking the next adventure, always being on the road. Everything changes and so did I.

After now a year of having moved out, it is nice every now and then to escape into your old world. A place where your current problems can’t come too close to you. It is a luxury to have this place to hide. Still, it does not completely feel like home. It feels like that weird escape in a world where you used to live in. It relives old memories, good and bad.

You live like you used to, just to realise that you’ve changed and you don’t fit in your old world anymore. That’s how life goes. We grow like beautiful flowers, it is as simple as that.

I took those pictures in a room in my parents house which is still my favourite there. This is where I used to dream. I loved all the antiques and old books in there, it was full of soul and passion. It used to be a separate flat, a few people must have lived in there, and I still wonder how this room has changed over the decades.

The room changed as the people who lived in it changed. My parents did a few changes over all the years. That’s how it works. Our internal worlds change, so we adapt our external interior to it.

Most importantly, however it may looked alike, it always gave people a feeling of belonging in there. It was filled up with the sound and passion of their souls.

SKIRT: TOPSHOP, T SHIRT: OFFICIAL QUEEN MERCH, ACCESSORIES: VINTAGE, SHOES: OFFICE

In the end, we all will find our home someday, whether that will be four walls, in ourselves or in someone else. We’re all lost juveniles searching for a sense of belonging in a chaotic world.

xx, Nina

PHOTOS TAKEN BY MYSELF

The pink mini dress

Hello, hello!

I know it is bloody boiling outside. Climate change feels more real and close than ever, and I am very worried. But for now, worries aside, as this post should be more of a light read whilst our bodies are possible with coping with this heat.

I went back to my parents house a few weeks ago and had a noisy at my old wardrobe again. I am a clothes enthusiast, I adore garments (what a FUCKING SURPRISE I KNOWWW), and honest to god I have a shit load of them and I have separation struggles when it comes to clear my wardrobe out.

I used to do a lot of vintage shopping when I was like 16, 17, 18- alright, I know I am a bloody looser when it comes to numbers, so we just talk about some random point of time in my difficult teens, when vintage clothes helped me to express my unconditional fashion love. To be fair, it does take ages until you have a vintage section of clothes that represent you. For a good vintage shop you need time and patience. Some shops are simply overpriced for the fact that it is used clothing (a worn Lewis 501 are not worth 50 quid I am sorry). And sometimes you can go to a million and one vintage shops, find nothing but crap and at other times you wanna buy the whole shop’s selection of available garments.

However, I was really mad about vintage hunts, like I treated it like a hobby. As I grew up in a small place (let’s just refer it as the middle of nowhere), I used to do most of my vintage shopping sprees once I was out of town in a bigger city. Whenever I was travelling (which happened quite frequently), I had a massive list full of vintage shops which I wanna visit. By the way, Amsterdam is AMAZING for vintage shops- two of my favourite pieces ever are from there! Would love to show you them, but they are currently stored in storage boxes somewhere around Manchester.

Moving on, the lovely pink dress that I am wearing in both the outfits is from a very teeny vintage shop in the Marais quarter in Paris! It was a steal, I bought it like 3 years ago for a tenner. It is very very loose around the waist, so a belt is a must (only if you fancy to give yourself some sorta shape).

In the first look, I paired it with my go to vintage/high street mix jewellery and a military jacket. The jacket with the rhinestones is from a small shop in Amsterdam and I bought it like two years ago.

In the second look, I lived out my colour combination dreams of pink and red. Not gonna lie, red and pink is my absolute favourite colour combo of all time!! I threw some statement accessories in like the headscarf and the bag, and being honest a headscarf makes a bad hair day a good hair day.

Alright, I think I have talked enough- however, you see the dress looks so different in both looks!

I hope you like it and see yous very soon,

xx,

Nina

Umm… Hello.

Hello, Hello,

It’s been a while. A fucking while. I know.

I don’t even know where to start in my explanation why I keep investing intensively in this blog to neglect it for ages after. So, for a long time I used the excuse that I do not like my blog name anymore (to be fair it is a bit of a pain as it confuses people a lot), but honestly that was just a way of me avoiding posting something.

In the past two years of running this blog, I always struggled. As most young people/millenials/call it whatever you want (I am very sad to say this actually, but it is the truth), I struggled with several mental health problems. I was always very afraid to talk about it, as I felt ashamed of it. But in times of mental health awareness and blah blah blah I think it would be more than wrong to keep silent about it. I struggled (to be fair I still do, but not as much as it used to be) with a shit load of anxiety.

After a lot of therapy, I can confirm the chlice that anxiety stops you from living. You feel like everything is so heavy, and everyone else seems to live faster than you. Also, anxiety stopped me from posting on here. I was afraid to be judged, or afraid that someone could know more about me than they are supposed to know.

None of you probably know a lot about me, as I kept this here as impersonal as possible (which was a shit way as I hated it)- nevertheless, this is gonna change now, finally after two years. Maybe a thing such as recovery does exist, at least I hope so.

I talk about mental health issues, to show people that they are not alone with their issues in this world. After two years of feeling a lot lost and alone with my mental health, I think it deffo is time to raise my voice and talk about it. If you struggle too- don’t be afraid, you are not alone, let’s cry together.

However, I will keep up with this blog from now on, as I love doing it. I obviously hope you like it too. X

SKIRT: TOPSHOP, TOP: ZARA BASIC (VERY OLD), BAG: ZARA (OLD), SHOES: OFFICE, HEADBAND: EBAY

By the way, a cheeky bit of self promotion: I have been taking over the Facebook page of mindless mag this month- I would be very happy and appreciate it a lot if you would have a look at my work. X

And, I have a new logo. I know now it is completely obvious how obsessed I am with seventies fonts.

Have a fab day,

X

Nina