Confessions of an unemployed fashion student: Molly Goddard Tulle and other illusions

I always wanted to be a columnist. Like Carrie Bradshaw. Wearing Molly Goddard Tutu dresses, writing about everything that comes to my mind whilst residing in a trendy New York City neighbourhood. In my dreams, I am still that woman. But, in dreams, everyone is their own version of Carrie.

In reality, I am, as the title suggests, an unemployed fashion student, permanently occupied with telling people what a fashion course is, whilst desperately trying to cover up the anxiety-triggering worries about my future. No, I don’t design fashion or am a model, are probably two of my most common answers, and I’d be hospitalized very quickly if I had to take a shot of tequila every time someone would ask me those questions.

What is studying fashion, really? Collaging mood boards, waiting for the day where you are finally awarded an unpaid internship at London Fashion Week, desperately wrapping size 0 models in the silkiest fabrics, whilst waiting for the moment your talent is finally recognised and discovered?

It’s not quite like that. Even though I imagined exactly this scenario, when I started studying fashion in 2018. Now, doing my course in a global pandemic, I am rather conflicted about the illusion whether my unpaid internship Cinderella moment will ever become reality.

Since I have admitted that studying fashion is not what the majority expects it to be, I can also admit, that I am not what my 10-year-old-self imagined my 22-year-old-self to be: I am not a successful columnist (yet), I don’t live on Cornelia street in New York (yet, but we can all dream) and I am not near financial security or anything else that would put me “having their life together” category.

What my reality truly looks like is a chaotic mess, mainly taking place in the four walls of my childhood bedroom, which I feel married to since last March. In the confinement of those four walls, I am constantly staring at my tiny laptop screen, outdoing myself with creative CV’s, still hoping to get hired during a pandemic, trying to spice up my Instagram feed by going with the flow and pretending that I am cooler than I actually am, and attending university through the Microsoft team’s icon.

So what do you study? Fashion, of course, as mentioned a million times, since it is apparently defining my personality so much I want to start my own column on my own blog about it- is there a more millennial thing to do in this world? I don’t think so.

Anyway, when you study fashion, you study history, humans, sustainability, creativity and counterculture all in one. You make a deep connection with every subculture that has ever existed, you learn how humans (un)intentionally wear their personality in form of garments, you realise how capitalism birthed fast fashion and is subsequently one of the climate crisis’ roots, and you express every issue this world has ever faced in a creative way.

That’s why it’s the industry of the freaks and geeks, all the mad ones end up there.

JACKET: Resume CPH, TROUSERS, TOP AND BERET: Vintage, SHOES: Dr. Martens

Fashion is a lot more than you think, and it all happens in a bubble- sometimes isolated, sometimes integrated.

Well, this is my bubble.

Welcome to the confessions of an unemployed fashion student.

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