I do not even have the slightest bit of a clue in how to start this. Yes, the imagery will clearly not fit the theme of the post, but due to recent happenings in society, it just felt utterly wrong to publish an article about a January blues playlist than actual mental health problems.
The mind is a genius construct of biology, developed over thousands of years, and probably the most complicated network that humanity has ever met. Everything is connected, describes its complexity best. Joy, love, happiness happens there until you are drunk on endorphins. But it also has its dark sides, darker than any dark side you’ve ever had to face. Sadness, pain, loss, self-doubt, hate… the list is infinite.
The mind, embedded in our heads, invisible to the outside.
You only know what’s going on in your own mind.
Never in someone’s others.
You never know what’s going on.
A smile does not mean that they are happy. A tear might not mean that they are depressed. Be mindful with others, your judgement and your actions.
As a person, who had and still has to face a rollercoaster of a constant up and down with her mental health, I was shocked that the media, the pressure of the public eye and the heavy judgement has the power to drive someone to death.
In my lifetime, I cannot imagine, how this would have possibly felt, and my thoughts are with Caroline’s loved ones.
I, personally, even though I do struggle, still and will always count myself as lucky, to never have had suicidal thoughts by myself. Nevertheless, I have encountered people in the past, who were in my close circle of people who were suicidal. Once, when I was very young, a person who was close to me and my family tried to take her life. In order to protect her privacy, I won’t go into detail. All I can remember was that I could not understand it. I was angry that she would do this to herself and the people who deeply loved her. My body numbed the pain about it out, I couldn’t understand her, the world or anything else anymore. After it happened and she survived, it took me a long time to get back into the normal swing of things. Today, I say that I should have behaved in a different way, but I am also a lot older than when it happened.
However old you are, it feels truly devastating. Like someone wants to rip your heart out and hurt it. At the same time, you feel like you are in chains, as you can’t really do anything apart from offering help and support, which means in a lot of cases already the world.
The point that I want to make with this story, that suicide is surprising for everyone around the victim, but not for the victim itself. For them, it seems like the only option to get out of their mind that is killing them.
And as an outsider, you don’t see what battle or war might be going on in their head right now.
You don’t know how long they have already had to fight their demons.
Please never assume or even think that you know more about someone else’s mind than they do. Cause if we want it or not, we actually never know what is going on in another person.
Be nice, be kind, be understanding- you never know.
If anyone who reads this post is clearly struggling, please contact a charity such as Mind charity or talk to someone.
Your loved ones rather have you opened up and sad, than not at all.
You, whoever you might be, you are loved.
Communication is key, and there is a way out of this endless labyrinth where there seems to be no exit.
Trust me.
Nina X